Most Laid Back Restaurant Ever?
Seriously, I think it might be. I didn’t even think this was a legal practice! You could hold a centurion in this place, and I’m sure they would be cool with it. Wow. I mean, just… wow.
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Seriously, I think it might be. I didn’t even think this was a legal practice! You could hold a centurion in this place, and I’m sure they would be cool with it. Wow. I mean, just… wow.
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Okay guys, sorry I haven’t been here for a few days, but I have been mighty busy moving stuff into Lincoln and attending various lectures at University. But I finally have a minute to myself, and I’m going to post the following, which I wrote on my first night down here. I apologise in advance for the tangents and general off-the-wall tone, but it was about two in the morning and I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d write. Enjoy the glimpse into the deepest reaches of my mind….
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Here we take a glimpse of the Download nightlife. Yes, it was as brutal as the mosh pits, and Lenny was surely as drunk as ever. What a drunken bastard. I don’t think I ever saw him without a can in his hand, and more than likely several more concealed about his person. This also had the pleasing effect of making him walk rather oddly, whilst trying to sneak around security etc. Sorry, but it just looked like he’d pissed himself.
Oh and if you’re wondering who it is stamping on his head? Wel I’m afraid if I told you I’d have to kill you…. Oh go on then, it was James.
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Wow. Just downloaded every photograph from my phone and rediscovered a bunch of great photographs from Download Festival 2007. So over the coming few days I will be providing the best ones here for your enjoyment, with a little background of course. First up we have our very own version of rock hands, made from the slowly melting remains of a plastic fork. Genius, I think you’ll agree…
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Yes, that’s correct this was a very limited run of just one vehicle, kitted out with the Ascot Cock refinements. Namely an Animal teddy and a resealable bag of Polos. Fantastic! And totally unique.
Oh, and I apologise for the mis-alignment, we were kind of rushed when we were doing this…
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Yes, those dastardly peoples are up to it again, with their parking anywhere and everywhere, this time, apparently, to pick up something from Argos… Now I’m no expert, but shouldn’t the lights be on if they’re in the middle of an Emergency Shopping Venture? (us in the know call them ESVs…)
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Dell. Bleuch, it leaves a funny taste in my mouth when I read that. Umm, out loud… Yes, yet again I am on here bitching about Dell, because yet again, just when I thought they could sink no lower, they have managed to fuck up what seems like a simple enough task. As you know from my previous posts I cancelled my order for the laptop of my dreams (exaggeration used for effect there) exactly three weeks ago today. Lets just recap what was said in that conversation…
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And that purpose is death. Clearly the owner of this wonderful automobile has given up and decided to kill himself rather than live any longer with the monstrosity sitting on his drive. Fortunately they were able to remove the offending vehicle before it caused mass suicide on the street. I was able to take this photo only looking away and quickly pressing the shutter release, so I apologise for the blurring and distance…
Don’t stare for too long or your eyeballs may melt. Causing a mess.
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Wow, this is truly some of the best parking I have seen in recent times. This guy clearly is so ‘elite’ that he doesn’t need to stay within the lines of the road. Oh no, he parks where ever the cars takes him. If that happens to be at a jaunty angle then so be it, he’s too cool to care. What a dude!
Look, he’s even too cool to close his doors properly. Hmmm, thinking about it I should probably have seen if the car was unlocked… you know, just to make sure nothing could be stolen.
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Happens to me all the time. For example this very thing happened to me on our way back from Lincoln, with Jake at the helm, pictured here drumming away to some tune he insisted on playing as loudly as possible.
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Just a little snippet today from the newly erected hoarding (note the spelling, it’s useful later on to prevent you from looking like a fool) around the demolition site that is the Skegness Sea Front. I think this is not only amusing on the basic ’sticking two fingers up at authority’ level but it wonderfully demonstrates the ineptitude of most authorities in setting an example to lead by.
I mean seriously, did ‘the man’ not think he was asking for trouble by putting a typo right there in the sign! Come on people, use a little common sense now…
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It has to be done doesn’t it? At least once I think, although making it a regular occasion couldn’t be a bad thing. This week there is just a single mission to accomplish, but it surely is one of the more important one’s, on my list at least. If you don’t road trip across Europe at some point in your life, you really haven’t lived. Everyone cool has done it, Gumballers do it all the damn time (lucky bastards, even if they may never do it again) and old people do watered down versions everytime they feel like a break. Damn old people, do nothing but take up space… But my views on old people are not up for debate here, this post is purely for the road.
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After installing the Alexa toolbar in my browser I must say that I am amazed at how benjaminallen.co.uk has grown in the last month. Starting in a lowly four millionth place about a month ago, it has recently risen into the top one million websites on the net, and even more impressively, into the top twenty thousand in the United Kingdom. Yep, that’s correct this is currently (09 September) ranked as the 19,155th most visited website in the UK. Cool.
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Funny you should ask… well, I’d be more than happy to explain. Don’t worry, it’s no trouble, I’ve been convincing myself I need to join ever since I was told you could become a member for just 11GBP per month and see as many movies as you wish free of charge… awesome! I thought. But then I got thinking, do I really go to the cinema that often?
Lets break it down. 11GBP a month is 2.75GBP a week, so to see one film a week it would cost 2.75GBP… I know, I know, it would cost the same to see an unlimited number of films per week, but lets say that pays for one ticket a week for simplicities sake. Don’t want to start any “Inifinite Monkeys” debates here or anything. Not yet anyway… So, one film a week. Now, if I wasn’t a member, this would cost me (conservatively) 4GBP a film, or 16GBP per month. So there is clearly a saving, but would I see one film a week if I could do so cheaply? Absofuckinglutely!!
Lets look at the films coming out later on this year that I will be seeing… Not to mention films out now that I can catch whilst they’re still showing (such as Rush Hour 3, Transformers : The Movie and Bourne Ultimatum). Firstly is probably my most hotly anticipated pick, I Am Legend, an apocolyptic, vampire-esque action flick starring Will Smith as the last human alive on earth… Sounds pretty incredible already doesn’t it, well just wait till you see the teaser (in Hi Def if you can) here. It will blow your mind. Seriously, a single scene in this epic New York shot movie is reported as costing a staggering 5 million bucks. A single scene!! Unbelievable. I’m running out of superlatives, it really is that amazing… So please, go see this film on December 14th, I urge you!!
Oh and just to wet your cinematic appetite, I heard on the grapevine that I, Robot 2 is on it’s way… Holy Hell, that will probably my single favorite film of 2008. Although I do love I, Robot, having seen it about 25 - 30 times since I bought the DVD on release day. Can’t get enough of that film!
So anyway, here’s the list of films I will be seeing in the near future. And don’t worry if you can’t get to watch them, I will be bringing my own wonderful brand of cruel opinion to the review of each… enjoy the trailers!
Sweeney Todd (Jan 25)
Shoot ‘em Up, Trailer (Sept 14)
Dragon Wars, Trailer (not Apple) (No UK release as yet)
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Trailer (No UK release as yet)
National Treasure II: Book of Secrets, Trailer (Feb 8 )
Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, Trailer (Dec 14)
American Gangster, Trailer (Nov 16)
Thirty Days Of Night, Trailer (Nov 2)
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Yes, as promised here is the first photograph in the fight against the power, brilliantly captured via Jake’s mobile phone. Conclusive proof I think that the Police have no thought about anyone but themselves. Or something like that. Stay tuned for more in the coming months, I will be on the look out for more instances of childish behaviour everywhere I go.
I must also mention my latest sighting of a Police car (again, unfortunately I didn’t note the registration) blatently speeding through the middle of Skegness, down a residential road of all places at around 11pm last night. I know the more brain-washed amoung you will be screaming ‘he/she was probably going somewhere important’… Well answer me this, I can understand no siren, but no blue lights? That’s reckless driving, and there is no excuse for that.
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Thought it was about time I got my act together and made this a more regular feature, so without further ado:
El : Eww! That lime tastes like ass!
Ed : Jake’s ass tastes like limes?
Ben : Yeh, Jake’s got one of those new bidets that doubles as a juicer.
Well, it seemed funny at the time… Get those quotes sent in!
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