Lolita Bed? Nooo, Lolita Bad…
Or at least, that’s what a few hussy parents think about the name given to some furniture sold by Woolworths. Lolita? Seriously, it’s a little odd I’ll grant you, but offensive? Or, in the words of the terribly literate Mrs Hanly, of raisingkids.co.uk, “it literally couldn’t be worse taste“.
How about if they called the bed, “My First Fuck Station” ? Hmm, or “The Tight Sleeper” ? You may have to think about that second one. I’m so sick, I apologise. Just illustrating how ridiculous this crazy woman is.
She’s not very culturally aware either, for example, in Chile the term Lola and Lolo (think of Bob and Robert if you don’t get the connection) are both used everyday to refer to young children. I don’t see any wild Chileans (seriously, that’s the plural) dancing about over the word… do you?
How about Japan, where Lolita refers to a fashion movement, designed to mimic the look of young girls? Nothing wrong with that, those crazy Japanese always do things differently. It’s brilliant, don’t get me wrong! Of course Lolita was also the 969th most popular American girls name in 1990, as well as being a town in Texas. Useful pronoun all round then.
Okay, I’ll admit it, I’ve gone off on a little rant here about how the name Lolita is a complete non-issue, but let’s not forget that she was the (indirectly) eponymous lead in the novel from Vladimir Nabokov. In the story, an uncle falls in love with a twelve year old girl. Boo hoo, sob sob, that’s sick etc etc. Who cares. A great many people have read the book, it is important literature, and I don’t see why this is suddenly a no go for current generations.
The name itself, interestingly, comes from the Spanish word for suffering, Dolores, which when shortened, becomes Lola (don’t ask me how). But anyway, all this of course begs the question, why name a bed such anyways?? Makes little to no marketing sense to me, but as the spokesperson for Woolworths stated, they had no idea of the connotations. Clearly they pulled this name out of their ass then…? Whatever, it’s a perfectly reasonable name, and the brain dead Mrs Hanly (and others, I have no doubt, please don’t think this is personal) should really open their eyes to the real word. It would save them a lot of embarrassment.
And I couldn’t resist leaving you with one last quote from that dopey cow. Enjoy!
I expect a company like Woolworths to actually know what it means and the connotations and stuff
-Catherine Hanly
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