Don’t Panic, We Got It
Can I just say I never noticed how depressing yesterday’s news was, until reading it back today, so I thought I should cheer everyone up with some lighter news. In fact, I start with some very light news indeed, about the awesome new walkway constructed through Kew Gardens. Beautiful. And I especially love how the banister is made of wood. Oh the irony.
More signs that America is the place to be now, with this unmissable offer from an American car dealership. Good news for all involved there then, especially the car thieves in America… They now have a proper challenge on their hands, no more pussy drivers! Except the old guy and the Canadian.
And finally (for the good news) I found this amazing tunnel between New York and London. Yes, you heard me. Running under the Pacific, from Tower Bridge, to Brooklyn Bridge, this has to be the coolest, most fun and most ‘Jules Vern’ monument ever. We totally need more of these.
Unfortunately, even with all this great stuff going on right now, there is doom and gloom, detailed below:
- Britain’s Beaches Radioactive
- Global Warming Ruins Weekend
- Children Remain Illiterate
- Artic Collapsing
- Jaws Becomes Fantasy
And finally, if you observe the clip featured in this article, at around about 12 seconds (turn up the volume) I think we hear uncensored profanity… Shock. Horror. Oh my God, quick, somebody do something please!! I’ve been scarred for life!! Won’t somebody please THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!! Also note how rude the Police officers are. Dear dear, what is this country coming to. Manners are free people! FREE!!
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