Entries Tagged as 'Off the Wall'

Drugs Are Bad


Yeh, right, I get it. The bad drugs that get dealed are bad, and I will only take them if I fully understand the risks (not that I’m supposed to say that, but what the hell). So what? I hear you cry. Well, imagine my shock when listening to Radio One yesterday only to hear Rockstar by Nickelback. Nice song. Too bad they censored the word ‘ass’. Ha, that’s pretty funny though, right, because some frumpy types may take offence? Fuck knows why, but you know, fair enough. However that wasn’t the horrific part.

No.

They also saw fit to censor the word ‘drugs’. Drugs! I am not kidding here, the BBC thought it would be best if they didn’t mention the D word, you know, for fear of sending hundreds of teenagers out onto the street to purchase Crack Cocaine and off themselves….?? Of course. That’s what any logical human being would think, right? Wrong!!

This censorship just goes to illuminate the path down which this country is being led. And, it’s not some carefully made crazy paving, framed by arches of trailing ivy. It’s most definitely a rusty metal grill, where we all have to wear tagged electro-magnetic boots, so we can be tracked and controlled 24/7.

Just a quick glance across the BBC brought up the following tragedies of so called ‘free-speech’… Be strong, please.

Okay, so dog leash girl, as I have branded her, is a little odd but still, human rights etc. pretty much cover the clothes you wear don’t they? Or have I been horribly misinformed, and we all wear orange jumpsuits now? Having said that… we are told what to wear when we ride a motorbike. What if I don’t want to wear a helmet? What the fuck business is it of the Governments? I guess I could just become a stupid fucking minority and get whatever the hell I wanted (yeah, it’s Sikhism you uncultured dumb ass) And that leads me nicely onto the second outrageous story.

How about the offensive little pigs? Well, again, I think that little story will still be told all across the country, however, god forbid some religious Nazi over hears you, because they’ll be quick to segregate some minority or other that can be seen as a victim. Why? I honestly have no idea. Other than my usual stance of course, that human beings are terrible, terrible, horrible things. I know, I am, and you are, and you are, and you are (if you imagine I’m looking round the room when you read that, it makes more sense). We all are, we can’t help it, that’s just the way life is. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though, and it doesn’t mean we can’t try and reinforce the illusion that it’s not that bad.

The last story is a little more puzzling however, you’ll have to give it a read (it’s only short, don’t worry) and come back to me. I, obviously, don’t watch TV such as this, and thus am completely uninformed as to how the stabbing actually went down. I can only assume that people are getting onto their high horses because the very mention of ‘knives’ is somehow taboo? Nope, I don’t understand either.

Sigh. Sorry for the kinda long rant, just thought I’d share. Thanks for enduring :)

Popularity: 17% [?]

New Year? Nobody Told Me…

Yes, let’s get the Happy New Year out of the way now everybody, good times will be had, and another year has ticked by etc. etc. If you’re wondering why I have refrained from posting this year, until now that is, then you’ll be happy to know that it is not because I am short of things to write about. Oh far from it. In fact I have a great deal of things that need to be discussed here, but most of them are currently, ahem, classified? Okay, I just don’t think it would be wise to talk about them right away, put it like that. But they will be here shortly! So don’t be panicking!

Other than that, I will be starting some regular features, mainly to get me back into the swing of writing for the blog, I must admit I got lazy last month. So, here we go, the shiny new 2008 me, ready to attack the world and shove my opinion down your throat. Nah, I’m just messing with ya, you people can swallow this stuff up just fine…

Popularity: 32% [?]

Lonely?

Well, it sure is quiet around here. I do apologise, what kind of host am I! A busy one. No it wasn’t a joke. I’m just really really busy. Fortunately University starts again in a little over two weeks, which means I will have more than enough spare time to write up the millions of tiny ideas I have bouncing around in my head, and get on with other important pieces, such as publicising Viznau and this blog.

Of course there is actually a good reason (excuse?) why I have slipped back in to my relaxed update schedule, and that is to get a nice level playing field of visitors to the site. Starting in the new year (which isn’t as far away as ‘next year’ sounds) I will increase the frequency of my posts. Hopefully this will have a positive effect on the site’s readers, it would be terrible if that had a negative effect after all, but I must also refrain from doing any spur-of-the-moment advertising as I did last month. It kind of nullifies the results. A little. I’m such an idiot =)

Oh well, live and learn, live and learn. And I will conclude by wishing you a very Merry Christmas (or happy holiday, if you’re a religious nut job) and a Happy New Year. See you on the other side of the calendar!

Popularity: 35% [?]

No, I’m Not Dead

Amazingly, no, I am not dead. And to the person who just groaned in the back, hush up bitch!

Instead, I have been monumentally busy with the Viznau site, and things are progressing very nicely. I have plenty of Web Two-Oh features, and many more to come, as well as bug fixes and more reporting functions than the current set of graphs and pies. So overall, good things are happening. If you want to get involved just drop me a line, and I’ll set you up with a beta testing account. As for the current user set, I was astounded to learn just yesterday that I am earning more from ads on Viznau than on benjaminallen.co.uk. Don’t ask me to explain how that works, but hey, it’s all good =)

I’m sorry I have been neglecting the blog recently, obviously this will change now I’m officially on holiday from University (but alas, not work) and no longer have to feel bad about not going… So stay tuned for lots of pictures, films, stories and random junk that has no other home. Good times!

Popularity: 37% [?]

Woah! What Happened to my Quote?!

Yes, I know, there was no quote yesterday, as will there be no quote today, nor tomorrow. That’s right I’m afraid, the end of the month came and I successfully posted everyday, so that’s it. My ordeal is over!

And did my traffic increase? Well, I can’t really tell, due to my shortsightedness of running a little ad campaign mid way through the month, which temporarily increased my traffic for some random period. Oops. My bad.

So I can’t really tell what happened, but I can say this, that I was a little flawed. I suppose posting a quote of the day isn’t really a strong magnet to draw people back to my site, even if it is every day. So I hereby nullify that experiment! Ha. What a waste of time that was, I hope at least one of you enjoyed my endless toil and slavery.

What experiment do you think I should do this month? I was considering setting up a Blogger blog, so I can send picture messages to it, and get them published whilst I’m on the road. Well, not on the road of course, but correctly and safely parked at the roadside… Sound good? Opinions please! I want ideas people, come on, come on!

Popularity: 41% [?]

That Lovely Waste of Time

Is over! Hooray, I now have linen, and clothing, and electronics to survive a week on my own in Lincoln. You can all sleep easy now, I have my stuff, and have returned safely. And I only saw one Police car. Which is good, because my average speed was ban-worthy. Ha ha! Screw you, Police.
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Popularity: 7% [?]

Well I’m Home

Okay, so I decided to make it more interesting I would post a quick update on my progress, once I reached home. As you can probably tell, this is just over half an hour later (in real time on the road) and I have covered about forty miles. You tell me what that means, because I don’t want to think about it. Hell, I only overtook three cars (well, four, but I took two of them in one go), the roads really were deserted. Which is good. Plus traffic coming in the opposite direction was sparse so I could keep all my lights on for as much of the time as possible. I also saw a fox. Awesome trip then, on the whole. I shall post again once I am back in Lincoln, hopefully with the proper news (kinda?) that was intended for today. Laters!

Popularity: 6% [?]

How Quickly Can I…?

… drive from my house in Lincoln, back to my home in Bratoft (It’s near Skegness, but just far enough away to be tolerable) seemed like a brilliant way of posting today. Especially seen as I travelled all the way to Lincoln and forgot my bag. Shit. Oh well, I don’t need clothes or a wallet or a laptop power adaptor. I’m posting this very message on my laptop and it says I have plenty of… Oh my god!!! Thirty minutes!!! See you guys soon. The next post here will be my signal of success, hopefully within two hours. Is that doable? Well, one way to find out. Wish me luck!

Popularity: 7% [?]

Shouldn’t Ads Work?

Call me crazy, but I’m firmly in the camp saying Internet advertisments should actually work, technically speaking (as well as being correctly spelt of course) and the following ad really got to me. No, not in the good advertising way, I mean in the ‘making me want to kill’ way… Boy, whoever is letting this ad run, and at what cost, really intrigues me, because I’m suprised anyone that stupid could have so much control over the budget.
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Popularity: 6% [?]

The Posting Returns

Okay, okay, okay, I apologise once again for letting the side down, it’s just lots of shit has been happening here. And yes, of course I can swear, it’s my blog. I can say whatever the fuck I want, damn it! Well, within reason I guess…
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Popularity: 100% [?]

Some Email You Say?

Holy freakin’ crap! Well, I decided to setup proper email addresses at all my domains, and in the process remembered about my long forgotten ben@benjaminallen.co.uk (don’t worry, I’m deleting this account as soon as I have finished checking the mail) So, brilliantly I think, I decided to download all the mail using Outlook Express…
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Popularity: 8% [?]

Quotable

Let’s establish some context here… in the wake of losing a significant contest, in the never ending saga of ‘James v Kieron’, James was feeling pretty down, and certainly Kieron was on top of the world. So when he uttered the two simple words “Eat Butter” with that priceless expression on his face, it really did finish James off… I don’t think he’s ever been the same. Sorry James, but surely Kieron would be better at advertising butter. Watch and enjoy!

Popularity: 8% [?]

Once a Day? Yeh, I Said, Once Frikkin’ a Day!!!

Well, oops. Some of you may have noticed that I lapsed from my ‘once a day’ posting schedule during the beginning of this week. Well some things are more important than blogging, or even the Internet, so you must accept my apologies, and believe that there was some busy stuff going on in my life. Sorry. I have now restarted my posting once a day routine, in fact today is a two-sie, so be happy. You’ll get plenty of my opinion over the next couple weeks, don’t you be worrying about that. Well, hopefully you will, I don’t want to jinx (jinks?) anything and cause more pandemonium across my life…
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Popularity: 8% [?]

Get A Freakin’ Dictionary!

You would not believe it. In the last few days I have found several online advertisments (of which I have lost two of the screenshots for… sorry) where there are blatant mis-spellings (sp?).
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Popularity: 8% [?]

University

Okay guys, sorry I haven’t been here for a few days, but I have been mighty busy moving stuff into Lincoln and attending various lectures at University. But I finally have a minute to myself, and I’m going to post the following, which I wrote on my first night down here. I apologise in advance for the tangents and general off-the-wall tone, but it was about two in the morning and I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d write. Enjoy the glimpse into the deepest reaches of my mind….
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Popularity: 44% [?]

Things To Do Before You’re Thirty… The Roadtrip Edition

It has to be done doesn’t it? At least once I think, although making it a regular occasion couldn’t be a bad thing. This week there is just a single mission to accomplish, but it surely is one of the more important one’s, on my list at least. If you don’t road trip across Europe at some point in your life, you really haven’t lived. Everyone cool has done it, Gumballers do it all the damn time (lucky bastards, even if they may never do it again) and old people do watered down versions everytime they feel like a break. Damn old people, do nothing but take up space… But my views on old people are not up for debate here, this post is purely for the road.
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Popularity: 10% [?]