Thought it was about time I got my act together and made this a more regular feature, so without further ado:
El : Eww! That lime tastes like ass!
Ed : Jake’s ass tastes like limes?
Ben : Yeh, Jake’s got one of those new bidets that doubles as a juicer.
Well, it seemed funny at the time… Get those quotes sent in!
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And here we go again! Yes, welcome to the second installment of things to do before you’re thirty, my new series of exciting, dangerous, but fulfilling stunts to perform before you become old and decrepid. Or hit thirty. However you’d like to describe it…
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Howdy all! This is the first in my new series, of things you really, really must do before you’re thirty. Now I know thirty seems quite young, but after that the younger generation can start calling you old and boring with a little accuracy, so you better get the vast majority of these tasks finished before that point. Otherwise, what the hell will you have done in your life!! Nothing, that’s what!
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Well here we go, an update on the carnage following the great fire. As usual it is complete chaos in the town centre, with cars, lorries, buses and horse drawn carriages (no, really…) being sent down completely ridiculous roads, that probably aren’t upto the job. Hopefully something major goes wrong and a bus topples over or something equally unbelievable - it may give me an excuse not to go to work tomorrow, you never know. As well as the queues of irate drivers, there are hundreds of eager tourists, who, in wanting to make at least something of their holiday, will stand for hours in open-mouthed amazement at the burnt out shell of some crummy old building… Harsh but true I’m afraid.
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Yes, the great fire of ‘07, as it shall be remembered by many, is thoroughly underway as I type this, and fortunately I snapped some pictures. Unfortunately I had to leave because there is much to do tomorrow and it is already two in the morning. But here are some pictures of the carnage, I will upload photographs of the after math tomorrow. Apologies for the short post but seriously, I’m knackered. Standing and watching a fire takes a lot out of you, it really does.
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Yes, it’s small and shitty, but it still rocks because I get my own house! Well, there are two other people sharing, but at least one of them is cool, don’t know about the other… We may not have met. Hmmmm, oh well, even if they are a complete douche it’s only a year, so I can stick it out. As you can see from the following photos the flat has been thoroughly checked for, umm, faults. I’m still not sure what they were doing, but suffice to say there was creaking and groaning. From both parties…
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And one of urine. No, I’m not joking, during the marathon one hundred shot competition (aka. Centurion) Lenny ended up necking a shot of Jake’s piss.
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Yes, it’s a BMW. Yes, I’m only nineteen. But hey, anyone can do it, just no-one thinks they can… and I love that. You can be driving along when you notice someone looking at you, with that great ‘he sooo stole that’ expression on their face. Best feeling in the world =)
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Something worthy of a mention on my blog doesn’t have to be clever. Nor does it have to be big, intelligent or mature. As my first quote proves… On the subject of music tastes and some new songs we were sharing recently, Jake was heard:
Jake : You heard that new song by Alter Bridge?
James : Any good?
Jake : It’s like listening to sex.
There was a surreal silence, followed by riotous laughter, but I still can’t work out whether this is a good or bad metaphor to use. Seriously, sex? James confessed that about a year back whilst listening to Jake have sex (long story) he would rather have been stabbing himself in the face, so no, it doesn’t always work… But for when it does, boy, it works well.
Hopefully I will be bringing you more examples of our work in these posts, so get send in those memories, I never was too good at remembering those, umm, well, remembering…
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And so we begin. The re-development of my games room, including furnishings and technology, will commence very soon, after the rough plans were drawn up just two days ago. And it’s going to rawk.
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Well. Well well. One of those days I will never forget just happened. In fact it wasn’t even a day, more of a two hour car journey through the pouring rain with a large piece of furniture poking through the sun roof. Ironically it was a sun lounger, and the sun was no where to be seen, but that was the least of my problems. Or at least, it was when we hit sixty.
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…or why haven’t I posted in days? Well to put it bluntly I have been working hard, and not much else. Now I know how much my three loyal readers (not really, that was completely made up) would love to hear about my working day, what I had for lunch, and my new hair-brained scheme for becoming rich and powerful, but I doubt it would be of interest to anybody else. So I refrained from posting.
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I thought it was about time to update you, with regards my run in with ‘the law’. Some already know what happened, others have heard from friends etc. and the story is getting twisted. At work the other day I was practically accused of being arrested! I can assure you now that I have not been arrested, and my criminal record remains woefully non-existant (more on that later). So what about my story? Well I remember it like it was yesterday…
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Yes, I am finally free from the trappings of the First Year of University!! All my lectures are done with, and all my work is finished and handed in. Finally! I can’t begin to tell you how great it is, that I am now free of any real work for the next three months, and can start full time at a proper paid job. Seriously though, I love my job and I hate University work. Hopefully this means you will see more regular posting here, as I will have much more free time. Coming soon will be the start of my university work postings, where you will see what I handed in, the brief and the lecturer’s notes, as well as the final grade achieved. Feel free to use this how you wish, without obvious plagiarism of course. Unless you want to risk it, but I will sue you. No, honestly, I will.
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Yes, by merely posting the following chunk of text, I could be in with a chance of winning… wait for it… twenty five dollars!! Amazing, I know, and totally worth it. That’s like, what? A tenner now? Wow, the Dollar sucks against the GBP.
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